Parenting...

Parenting has been on my mind for the last few months.  I wonder if we're doing it right, if we're inflicting some kind of damage to our kids, if you can over train a child till their will breaks and they loose their spirt, and uniqueness in the process.  I wonder if our girls are truly happy and care free.  Or if they should be.  Is it more important to teach them to obey without question, or to learn how to reason and inquire?  Is it more important to love on them or be consistent in discipline?  Should they be allowed to argue their side or should they do first and ask why later?  

My current parenting philosophy lies somewhere between To Train up a Child and Why not train a Child.  As you can see these Ideas are pretty conflicting.  

-Overall I would say I don't agree with the Pearls'. They have some great thoughts... for example: The Church (as in Churches, not the actual body of believers) is for the sick.  Go in, do your ministry, and get your kids out. I know for a fact that many children have been abused in church, so I see that as sound advise. As far as some of their discipline tactics, though, they seem borderline torturous. They also talk about parenting as the most important role which I don't think you can support biblically. -I really haven't read much by them, though, so feel free to comment your thoughts.

-The other side. *sigh* I really like the idea of parenting gently. The idea of guiding with words and not punishment. I love the idea of it, but I'm unsure about the application. I know that people have argued that well behaved kids shouldn't be our goal (we should be "Teaching kids how to think, no merely what to think"...quote from Hippie Housewife), but good behavior does have it's place, doesn't it, shouldn't there be some type of consequence to trowing a fit over not being able to have candy in the store? - for those of you practicing this type of parenting please help me out!

I'm at a loss and I see many great parents that parent many different ways.  I just want to do what God would have us to do, but there is so little instruction in the bible that I find myself totally, and utterly confused.  Not only that, but, it's not like I can stop parenting until I figure it out, right?

*praying*

How do you parent?

Why We Don't....

Note: This is an attempt to let you in on our beliefs regarding the celebration of Christmas and why they are.  My hope is only to explain myself in a way that would be fully informative and respectful.  It is not, in any way a judgment on your traditions, beliefs, or practices. 

Biblically: I'm unaware of any instance in the Bible were Jesus's Birth was celebrated on a specific day. There is little doubt that December 25th has nothing to do with the timeline of Jesus's actual birth.  It would seem from the bible that during the time of Jesus's birth the weather was warm and dry because the shepherds were still out in the field with their sheep (probably sometime in September).  So why is December 25th so special?

Traditionally: There are many pagan holidays that were/are celebrated during this time of year.  Most of them having to do with the sun starting to come back to life after the solstice (the days beginning to get longer).  In fact many of the traditions that Christian families practice during their celebrations came from these earlier pagan celebrations.  Including:

• Gifting of presents
• Gluttonous eating and drinking
• Lighting candles
• Kissing under mistletoe
• Bringing cut trees indoors
• Caroling -though at the time they were obviously different tunes having nothing to do with the Christ child.

Socially: This holiday seems to put exclamation marks between the "haves" and the "have-nots".  While the children in Africa get a little shoebox of trinkets our children are opening hundreds of dollars worth of stuff that will probably break in a few hours/weeks/months.  Not to mention those kids working 12-18 hours a day for next to nothing (and often times in abuse-full situations) to make all of the stuff that is bought.

Environmentally: Every year I see hundreds of beautiful trees leave our area to live in somebody's house for a month and then get taken to a landfill.  Houses are lit up as much as possible skyrocketing energy consumption.  Tons of new toys, clothes, and shoes are made causing more environmental pollution and waste. And anyone can see the overflowing trash bins the week following a Christmas celebration.

So what do we celebrate? We celebrate Jesus's birth, life, and sacrificial death.  We celebrate the anticipation of his return. We celebrate the changing seasons of the year and of our lives. We celebrate growing older and the love that Jesus has brought to us through friends, family, and community.

Mostly we celebrate with our everyday lives.  When we do celebrate with food and gifts (or treats and one of my good friends calls them) we try our best to make sure they are environmentally friendly, socially conscious, and typically home made.

Baby Signs

I've noticed a bit of a movement goin on amongst our youngest. Babies are SIGNING! This is really exciting, finally, some deaf awareness going on (or thats what I would think). You know, something that can benefit everyone. People learning sign language is a great step towards welcoming the deaf into our culture, and...our precious ones are learning to communicate with us earlier than they would if we waited on those vocal cords to fully develop. Everybody wins, right?

Well, not exactly... I've seen a really sad development in this sort of education. We're dumbing down the language (and there for sending a very strong, and hurtful message to the deaf).  In order to try and make it more "palatable" for the little ones, we're teaching wrong signs.

If a child says "baba" instead of "bottle" we don't usually correct them, but we also don't just start teaching them "baba" because we think it will be too hard for them to say "bottle". We model the right word and eventually they get it. I would never expect my children to sign everything right all the time, but just because they can't do the perfect "more" sign doesn't mean that they don't understand it and it also doesn't mean that they'll never be able to sign it right.

Some might say that it's not about the deaf, they just want to communicate with their baby. Sometimes you're just trying to raise your family. I so understand that! The thing is, Sign language belongs to the deaf culture, just as English belongs to our culture. And in the same way that we would not like it if some one was purposing teaching wrong English to their child, the deaf are hurt by the fact that we, as a whole, don't value them enough to teach our children their real language.

I, do know, some of you are really wanting to teach your children accurate signs, but don't know the language yourself. Good news! I have a great resource (http://www.signsforintelligence.com) for you, and the whole program is taught by a deaf woman, so not only will you be doing something great for your baby (and yourself), you will also be supporting the deaf community.  Now that truly is a win, win

Hiking, Camping, & Sailing... oh my!

Hiking

went on a 7 mile hike 1/2 was straight uphill (seriously, with steps and all.... could barely walk for the next few days) with Dan and the girlies.  They loved all the water!

[photo by Danny]

And this little girl hiked for almost 2 miles of it... all up hill! Dude, I'm so impressed.

Camping

[photo by Danny]

[photo by Danny]

Haven't been sense we started procreating (minus the one time some weeks ago in Mexico, but I'm not sure it counts because they had showers and a water park)... so glad it's back in our lives.  My favorite thing to do is watch those girls covered in soot, sap, bug bites, and scratches enjoy themselves, just as I did as a youngling, in the great outdoors.  This is the part of child raising that I had dreamed of all of my adult life... this is what I have longed to give my children.  I'm so happy that it was a success! Sati even cried when we left and said as we arrived at our front door, "I don't want to go in my house".  Oh what I've give to really be able to raise them outside all year long.

Sailing

We were a little nervous about taking our camera aboard so this is the only picture that we got of the boat.  I wasn't sure what I would think.  We've been planning to buy a boat and live life traveling around the World, loving on people as we go, for some time now. But would you believe it, this was our first time to actually go sailing.  It wasn't a big boat but it totally solidified our desire to leave the green and jump into the blue... it was so amazing!!!

[photo by Danny]

{I have no idea why there is that huge gap between the title and the rest of the post, too tired to mess with it anymore tonight... hope you're still able to enjoy}

Nagging Wife / Leaking Faucet

W.I.P. Wednesday

of Birds and Babies

It's baby season around here again.  So I've been creating with a lot of little ones on the mind.  The two most recent projects are bird inspired.  This one has been on the brain for awhile.  I first saw it in November somewhere (I tried to find it again but I think it's been discontinued) and was totally smitten with the idea of a natural kind of bird mobile.  I, then, dutifully forgot about it until recently, while blog hopping, I found a this pattern.  To be honest I would like to adjust the pattern a bit... but they're still stinking cute!

The second project that I've been working on is a diaper bag made of cord and recycled plastic (I'll post more details after it's all sewn together).  This project has been a WIP for months.  I'm really liking how it's turning out, but I'm at the place that I hate... sewing the liner to the outside.  This part has been frustrating on every bag that I've made.  Any tips?

Summer Feet